Stage 3 of 7
Autonomy
8 months → 2 years, 6 months
The child’s curiosity and life force moves them to explore the world through an explosion of psychomotor skills. An imprint of the child’s impulses toward autonomy is formed. In an adult, the disruptions from this stage can lead to a lack of awareness of one’s own impulses and feelings, or to a fear of having to give up one’s impulses and feelings in order to be in relationship, leading to the avoiding of commitments.
Developmental themes
- Curiosity; exploring the world.
- Learning to distinguish emotions and activities.
- Gaining ownership of emotions.
- Connecting words and objects.
- Needing help to do things themselves.
- Awareness of the learning of causal connection.
- Being oneself in contact with others.
- Mastering own activities in interaction with others.
- Learning to use the toilet.
Early position
Non-Verbal Activity Changing
General attributes
- Child gives up on own desire & impulses
- May act from other people’s desires/impulses
- Waiting to be swept off their feet. Seeks and wants others to stimulate them.
- Exhibits charming child-like innocence and playfulness.
- “Tell me a story.”
- Sensitive to control, power and manipulation. Has issues with “authority”.
- Commitment phobic
- Tends to experience self as helpless & others in control; omnipotent transference
- Don’t know what it’s like to receive help without being overtaken
- Changes plans abruptly without saying anything. Does so subconsciously.
- Avoids unpleasant feelings by walking away without talking
- Despise boxes; prefers the “freedom” of ambiguity
- Feel empty inside. The “Void”.
Physical attributes
- Doe-eyes
- Appear to be very well “anchored”
- Has a waddle like walk & grover arms; energy triangulates into the lower body/legs
Needs to learn
- To connect and act from their own impulses.
- To self-stimulate rather than relying on others for stimulation.
Late position
Verbal Activity Changing
General attributes
- Can’t dare how much something means to them
- Can’t tell them what to do; Has issues with “authority”.
- Commitment phobic
- Changes topics in conversation frequently and abruptly to avoid uncomfortable feelings; skittish. Does so subconsciously.
- Quick to boredom therefore tend to keep busy
- “Just messin with ya”
- Charismatic
- May feel shame when asking for help (therefore usually won’t) or not knowing the correct answer
- Inability to ask for or accept help
- Show too much interest/ in them and they get scared of being taken over
- Try to do everything themselves
- Has trouble going “deep”
Physical attributes
- Magnanimous eyes
- Appear to be very energized & impulsive
- Has a superman like posture; chest puffed out; energy triangulates in the upper torso of the body
Needs to learn
- Feeling and taking in support from others
- Slow down, relax and connect with their center, the origin of their impulses
Healthy resolution
Autonomy
Emotionally autonomous: Curious & excited to explore - A person acting from a healthy or resourced Autonomy position can sense, feel, and act on his own impulses. He has experienced that his involvement and activities will be encouraged and supported. He can accept help when he needs it, and can also follow another person’s lead. His upper and lower body are equally energized and energy moves freely between them. He can give and receive from his core. He can sense how much energy he has to give, and when to stop. He can balance his own impulses, and feelings/desires against other’s expectations. He can be helpful, charming, and outgoing.