Stage 7 of 7
Performance/Solidarity
7 → 12 years
Where the child finds a place in their culture by learning how to be a member of group and community. This is also a time of acquiring and mastering high level skills. In an adult, the disruptions from this stage can lead to a fear of competing or standing out in a group (leveling), or a need to be the star in any group in spite of the consequences for oneself or the group (competing).
Developmental themes
- Engaged in working in groups; concerned with being in and out, up or down (in hierarchy/position), near or distant in the contact with friends and finding a balance between relations with a best friend and other friends
- Engaged in contact between groups - we/them.
- Often in groups of the same sex for a period of time.
- Develops solidarity feelings and at the same time develops own individuality further.
- Practices being a leader, mediator and "rank and file" member of different groups.
- Competes with self and others.
- Specializes - wants to be able to do something special and practices physically, psychologically and cognitively to be able to do it.
- Seeks knowledge, education, interests, hobbies.
- Develops a sense of responsibility concerning duties.
- Develops an understanding of the value of money.
Early position
Leveling
General attributes
- Parents/peers/teachers put child down when he/she begins to perform well
- Child experiences a loss of worth and dignity related to performance
- Child often is often shamed/ignored when he/she begins to shine
- Does not want to stand out by being special
- Very concerned with fairness, equality, and conformity
- Identifies with group and tries to maintain status quo
- It’s a sad dog that doesn’t wag its own tail.
- Ideologically akin to Communism, Socialism, Collectivism
- ‘Social Justice Warriors’
- Everyone gets a ribbon for competing; Everyone is a winner.
- Can engage in shaming to try and level the playing field
- Make decisions in committees so there is no one person responsible if things go wrong.
Physical attributes
- Face: focused with a searching look
- Appears to have a soft expression in the eyes
Needs to learn
- To come out and feel secure in their uniqueness
Late position
Competitive
General attributes
- Parents/peers/teachers reward child with contact/connection when he/she performs or competes
- Child begins to see performance as the best way of getting connection
- Child learns it’s value is not inherent but only related to how well he/she performs/achieves
- Ballet and soccer Moms & Dads are notorious for creating this structure or parents who demand
- nothing less than an A+ academically
- Very image conscious and social status driven
- Driven to acquire status and/or symbols of status; ex. position at work, coming first in a competitive sport, letters behind name (academics), fancy cars, jewelry, big homes, lots of shoes, designer everything, make-up, physique, etc.
- Competes with others for best position, often competes with self
- Ideologically akin to Capitalism, Darwinism - Survival of the fittest
- Often become over-achievers in order to try and maintain connection
- Has difficulty fitting into groups
- Hogs the ball in soccer, or the puck in hockey, or the ball in basketball; has difficulty passing and being a “team” player
- Obsessed with performance & being clever
- Vindictive; Retributive; Jealous
Physical attributes
- Face: focused with an expression of goal-directedness and performance
- Appears to have a hard expression in the eyes
Needs to learn
- To feel that they have value irrespective of their status/achievements/performance
- Te be OK with being an ordinary group member
Healthy resolution
Performance/Solidarity
Balancing self and group: Secure in leading, Excelling, or being a member of a group - He is able to establish a positive sense of himself in a group and feel deeply a part of a group. He gains value by being able to move between doing his best and helping others to be their best, and between leading or going along with and supporting the group and others, as needed. He can give his best and also accept when he fails or when another is better. He is comfortable doing what is needed by his group, and is able to recognize other peoples’ skills and support them if they need assistance. Physically the healthy person has a straight back, an erect posture, and flexible and fluid movements. He enjoys using and developing his physical and mental skills and will practice repeatedly to improve his abilities.